Everything's gonna be different from now on

But mostly it'll stay the same

Dear Writer,

I’m not gonna lie… it’s been busy lately at How Story Works HQ. I have engaged the help of a marketing professional to tell me all the things I’m doing wrong with my business…

… and he told me.

The good news is, now that I know what I’m doing wrong, I can start doing things right. But that means changing a couple of things. Like you know how I recently redid the Dear Writer logo? Yeah, I need to do that again, and brand it as How Story Works: Dear Writer, which I will do as soon as I figure out the logos and the color branding for All The Things.

Meanwhile, in an effort to appease the Marketing Gods, who have been severely disappointed in me, today I’m implementing a new bonus for paid subscribers; a Q&A about writing (or whatever you want to ask me). This will happen on the third Monday of every month and will be part of the paid subscriber bonuses starting next month.

Every first, second, and fourth Monday, the regular free version will be going up, with me rambling about joy, trauma, and the excruciating sound of silence.

For those third Mondays, anyone can ask me writer questions or, really, anything, and I will answer the question, even if it’s something I know absolutely nothing about and need to then research to answer it. Anyone can ask questions, but only paid subscribers will receive the Ask Lani Anything Q&A letter.

On months where there is a fifth Monday… I’m taking that day off from Dear Writer.

But this month, baby, I’m taking my cues from television drug dealers and giving you the first one free.

If you think reading Dear Writer is great, imagine getting this letter and a podcast of Lani reading it to you and a monthly writer Q&A for what is essentially the cost of one cup of coffee a month!

Since no one knew to ask me stuff and here I am with no questions, I thought I’d go to Google to find out what the most-frequently asked search questions are, and I discovered a post from market researcher David Ramos. He went into Google to find the most searched questions, and now, I’m going to answer them.

What to watch?

Oh, I’m sofuckingqualified to answer this one. I’ve been watching a lot of great shows this year, and here are the ones I recommend.

Buffy. I didn’t watch it for the first time this year, but everyone should watch Buffy. Like, literally everyone.

What To Do In The Shadows. So weird, so quirky, so delightful. And when you finish up and are waiting for the new season, there’s more Taika Waititi to enjoy in…

Our Flag Means Death. Delightful. Funny and touching and sad and funny. Love, love, love.

Taskmaster. I’ve talked before about how much I love Taskmaster, and I will never stop talking about how much I love Taskmaster.

Hacks. Everyone needs to watch Hacks.

What time is it?

11:16 a.m. Mountain as I write this.

How many ounces in a cup?

16! I didn’t even have to look that up.

Wait. Maybe I should look that up.

<insert hold music here>

8.

Where am I?

In your head. Go outside. Touch grass. Trust me.

Where my refund?

If you have to ask Google, it’s probably not coming.

Sorry.

How many ounces in a gallon?

Oh, I absolutely know this since moving to Colorado where you have to drink a gallon of water a day or or the Gods of Dry Climate strike you with headaches. 128!

Wait. Maybe I should look that up.

<insert hold music here>

128! Booyah!

How many weeks in a year?

52.

I know it’s 52, but ever since I cocked up the ounces in a cup question, I’ve been experiencing a crisis of confidence.

<insert hold music here>

52 weeks plus 1 day, except leap years, where it’s 52 weeks plus 2 days.

When is Easter?

The next Easter will be March 31, 2024. But this made me ask another question; how is it decided when Easter will be. Turns out, according to Royal Museums Greenwich which had the first result on this topic when Googled, big congrats to RMG’s SEO person, it is the first Sunday after the full Moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox. If the full Moon falls on a Sunday then Easter is the following Sunday.

How to screenshot mac?

Dude, I absolutely know this one!

Command-Shift-3 to screenshot a whole screen.

Command-Shift-4 to screenshot a selected portion of the screen.

Command-Shift-5 to bring up a whole menu to choose if you want a screenshot or a screen recording, and what screen you want.

I know that shit off the top of my head. Booyah!

How many days until Christmas?

As of this writing, 125.

All right, y’all. Go outside. Touch grass. I’ll see you next week.

Everything,

L