I didn't forget to write today

You forgot to write today

Dear Writer,

Okay, I’m gonna be straight with you. It’s 9 p.m. and I haven’t written a Dear Writer letter today because I forgot it was Monday until it was almost not Monday anymore.

Remember how last week I told you my brain was turning to mush? Well, I clearly was not lying.

That said, sometimes we need to write even when we don’t feel like it. So I’m turning to Chat GPT to see if this new AI technology that’s been making everyone lose their shit can give me something to write about inside the deadline that no one really cares about, but which means something to me.

You hear that ticking? Yeah. That’s the friggin’ clock, baby.

Let’s do this thing.

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I went to Chat GPT and told it I forgot to write my newsletter today and asked it for a topic idea, and I got this:

Write a personal essay about a moment in your life when you faced a difficult decision that challenged your values and how you navigated through it.

Ugh. This is the thing about AI. It’s so goddamned sincere all the time.

But okay. Let me tell you about the time I forgot to write my newsletter and then tried to get an AI to write it for me.

It challenged my values in that I like to write my own stuff.

But it also challenged my values in that it provided a prompt I couldn’t use, because it was boring as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….

But mostly the values challenge was because I like to write my own stuff and it’s wrong to let anyone or anything do your work for you because it’s wrong.

I navigated through this challenge by getting annoyed and then trying to find another way to make an AI do my homework, which resulted in one of the most obviously regrettable things I could possibly do, which was asking Chat GPT to write a Dear Writer newsletter about forgetting to write my Dear Writer newsletter…

…and see if you can tell where I went horribly wrong, because it’s right here…

….in the style of Lani Diane Rich.

Dear Writer,

Oh, sweet darling, it's okay to forget things sometimes. Life has a way of tossing us into a whirlwind, spinning us around until we're left dizzy and disoriented. We've all been there, lost in the chaos, trying to hold on to every little thread of our sanity. So, take a deep breath and let me tell you something: you're doing just fine.

My response: That’s not how I sound! Ohmygodisthathowisound?

You see, my dear, being a writer means embracing the messiness of life. It means diving headfirst into the glorious tangle of words and ideas, and sometimes, amidst that beautiful chaos, a few things slip through the cracks. It happens to the best of us, even those of us who seem to have it all together.

My response: Glorious tangle? Are you shitting me? But… I am a little chatty like that. The run-on sentences, the overuse of commas… ohgodohgodohgodohg—

But here's the thing, love. Your worth as a writer isn't defined by a missed deadline or a forgotten newsletter. No, your worth is found in the words that you weave, the stories that come alive under your fingertips. It's in the moments of pure magic when you capture the essence of the human experience and offer it up to the world.

My response: This is a lot of words to say pretty much nothing. Is this me? Do I write like that? <cue mild panic attack>

So, my dear, forgive yourself for this oversight. Embrace the imperfections that make you uniquely you. And when the time is right, sit down with your pen or your keyboard and pour your heart onto the page. Let the words dance across the canvas, painting a picture of resilience and determination.

My response: OKAY I WOULD NEVER WRITE “LET THE WORDS DANCE ACROSS YOUR CANVAS” THIS IS NOT ME FUCK YOU CHAT GPT YOU USELESS PIECE OF ARTIFICIAL SHI—

Remember, my love, that life is a wild and unpredictable ride. There will be bumps along the way, detours that lead you astray. But it's in those unexpected twists and turns that you'll find the inspiration that fuels your writing soul.

My response: I see my mistake. My mistake was asking it to write in the style of Lani Diane Rich. That was where it all went so horribly, horribly wrong. I see that now. My kingdom for a time machine.

So, my dear writer, let go of the self-doubt and the guilt. You are a force to be reckoned with, a creative spirit capable of moving mountains with your words. And in the grand tapestry of your writing journey, this forgotten newsletter is but a small thread, easily woven back into the fabric of your beautiful story.

My response: My dear writer? My love? My dear? Sweet darling? That’s not me.

That’s not me.

That’s not me, right honey-baby-schnookikins?

Keep writing, keep dreaming, and know that you have a community of fellow writers cheering you on every step of the way.

With love and boundless admiration,

Lani Diane Rich

You ever have those moments when you look at a picture of yourself and you think, “Do I really look like that?” It never occurred to me that there could ever be a writing version of that experience, but this is the writing version of that experience and it’s fucking hideous. The only comfort I can take is that it didn’t even drop one f-bomb, and if it had really studied me, it would have dropped a lot of them.

But, since I am clearly a glutton for punishment, I took this moment to double the fuck down. I wanted to get some confirmation that it had all been a horrible mistake, and not only was this thing not aping my style, but it probably didn’t even know who I was. So I went back to the chat prompt and typed, “Do you even know who Lani Diane Rich is?” hoping the thing would respond with something like, No, I am only aware of famous people and people who are good enough at what they do not to try to get me to do their work for them at the last freakin’ minute, and the little shit gave me this:

Yes, Lani Diane Rich, also known as Lucy March, is a contemporary romance author and podcast host. She has written several novels, including "Maybe Baby," "The Fortune Quilt," and "Wish You Were Here." Lani Diane Rich is also known for her engaging and witty writing style, as well as her work as a writing coach and instructor. She has a warm and humorous approach to storytelling and often infuses her writing with relatable characters and heartfelt moments.

That’s a little creepy in its complete fucking accuracy, but I didn’t write that. None of my bios say any of that. How did it know?

Okay, so here’s where we are; I forgot to write my Dear Writer newsletter today, and now I’m getting in just under the wire of Monday, and I tried to have Chat GPT write it for me, and now the AI version of me is creeping me the fuck out, which is proof that sometimes, people get exactly what they deserve.

Everything,

L