I have a friend who works in in-patient mental health for juveniles, and part of the discharge process is giving the kids advice on how to talk about their stay with other people. He says that often these days, when he tells them, “You can just tell kids at school you were sick, you don’t have to share how,” they respond, “Wait, why can’t I just tell them the truth?” I think (hope) that things have changed a lot.
I love what you wrote in reaction to/conjunction with the quote from John Green. I hope you don't mind, but I plan to quote you (fully attributed, of course!)
Regarding the oversharing--I haven't read Turtles All the Way Down yet, but while reading your description of the scene, it was making me a bit uncomfortable too--I was expecting a negative outcome and thinking she should wait until she knows this guy better first. So I don't think you are alone in your response, even if you have past experiences that might heighten your reaction.
Absolutely, you may quote me! And yeah, I have a strong feeling that my response to that moment says more about me than about the book or whether a man accurately wrote a female experience. Opens up some interesting questions, though!
A thought on the oversharing confusion- people who experience the combination of trouble with working memory and struggling with social cues could easily fall into the trap of oversharing.
This kind of person does not necessarily need to be exclusively male, entitled, or experiencing extreme safety with another to do something like this. Like you pointed out, this kind of behavior can easily be weaponized by those who dislike the oversharing behavior and exploit the vulnerability. A person like this is probably not acting maliciously since they are very likely to be hurt via said weaponization.
Could it be possible that someone experiencing anxiety and OCD also experiences the combination of trouble with working memory and struggling with social cues?
Oh, I think that's absolutely possible. I'm more curious about my response than making any kind of statement about whether this behavior is believable. The spotlight is on the beliefs I have that gave me that response, and how maybe I need to investigate that.
Ah! I understand what you're saying. Do know that you are not alone in navigating these murky waters. It seems like the trickiest part about this collective social contact is that it is unwritten and flooded with cultural norms and biases. I've been thinking lately about how these cultural norms and biases are not always the reliable belief that they are often presented to be. Best wishes to you on your investigative journey Lani!
I have a friend who works in in-patient mental health for juveniles, and part of the discharge process is giving the kids advice on how to talk about their stay with other people. He says that often these days, when he tells them, “You can just tell kids at school you were sick, you don’t have to share how,” they respond, “Wait, why can’t I just tell them the truth?” I think (hope) that things have changed a lot.
LOL, yeah, I was talking to my kid about it, too and it seems things have changed a lot, which is good news. :)
I love what you wrote in reaction to/conjunction with the quote from John Green. I hope you don't mind, but I plan to quote you (fully attributed, of course!)
Regarding the oversharing--I haven't read Turtles All the Way Down yet, but while reading your description of the scene, it was making me a bit uncomfortable too--I was expecting a negative outcome and thinking she should wait until she knows this guy better first. So I don't think you are alone in your response, even if you have past experiences that might heighten your reaction.
Absolutely, you may quote me! And yeah, I have a strong feeling that my response to that moment says more about me than about the book or whether a man accurately wrote a female experience. Opens up some interesting questions, though!
A thought on the oversharing confusion- people who experience the combination of trouble with working memory and struggling with social cues could easily fall into the trap of oversharing.
This kind of person does not necessarily need to be exclusively male, entitled, or experiencing extreme safety with another to do something like this. Like you pointed out, this kind of behavior can easily be weaponized by those who dislike the oversharing behavior and exploit the vulnerability. A person like this is probably not acting maliciously since they are very likely to be hurt via said weaponization.
Could it be possible that someone experiencing anxiety and OCD also experiences the combination of trouble with working memory and struggling with social cues?
Oh, I think that's absolutely possible. I'm more curious about my response than making any kind of statement about whether this behavior is believable. The spotlight is on the beliefs I have that gave me that response, and how maybe I need to investigate that.
Ah! I understand what you're saying. Do know that you are not alone in navigating these murky waters. It seems like the trickiest part about this collective social contact is that it is unwritten and flooded with cultural norms and biases. I've been thinking lately about how these cultural norms and biases are not always the reliable belief that they are often presented to be. Best wishes to you on your investigative journey Lani!