I loved your post. So often guys do not value or see value in the work we do. You have a guy who is willing to learn. This should inspire all of us to tell the people close to us what we need from them.
This is wonderful. I wish I'd tried it two husbands ago. I wish I'd tried it one husband ago. I wish, I wish, I wish..... but I hadn't known about 'the ways'. Like you, I grew up being told I was rubbish at everything, got it all wrong and that nobody would want me in their life (maybe not exactly like you, perhaps; I hope not) so I grew up absolutely believing this whether a part of me knew this wasn't true or not. I believed. If only I'd had the courage - and knowledge - to have thought about and tried this out.
This is something I've seen with my hubby. Often, I say something to him and he has no idea what to say. And I just need him to say, "Okay" sometimes. But he's been programed to think he needs to fix all the things, so if he doesn't have the solution and no idea, he is quiet. It's something I've told myself to keep in mind, especially recently, and to let him know that sometimes a simple "Okay." is enough of a response.
I love my label maker to the point that it's a joke among coworkers throughout the years. I was raised in a family that basically said, "I expect you to get all A's, do all the things, be a social butterfly (be calm my introverted soul!), do your chores w/o complaint, etc." So it has been quite the learning curve to take the affectionate jokes about my need for order (and genuine gratitude when I pull that years-old letter he needs *now!* from its labeled binder) from my husband. Instead of dread that I didn't do something well enough, it's still weird to feel that glow at his appreciation. People who understand, even when we have to help them do so, are the best!
I loved your post. So often guys do not value or see value in the work we do. You have a guy who is willing to learn. This should inspire all of us to tell the people close to us what we need from them.
OMG you’re like my therapist now, seeing me and giving me the tools I need. THANK YOU LANI! YOU ARE AMAZING!
This is wonderful. I wish I'd tried it two husbands ago. I wish I'd tried it one husband ago. I wish, I wish, I wish..... but I hadn't known about 'the ways'. Like you, I grew up being told I was rubbish at everything, got it all wrong and that nobody would want me in their life (maybe not exactly like you, perhaps; I hope not) so I grew up absolutely believing this whether a part of me knew this wasn't true or not. I believed. If only I'd had the courage - and knowledge - to have thought about and tried this out.
This is something I've seen with my hubby. Often, I say something to him and he has no idea what to say. And I just need him to say, "Okay" sometimes. But he's been programed to think he needs to fix all the things, so if he doesn't have the solution and no idea, he is quiet. It's something I've told myself to keep in mind, especially recently, and to let him know that sometimes a simple "Okay." is enough of a response.
I love my label maker to the point that it's a joke among coworkers throughout the years. I was raised in a family that basically said, "I expect you to get all A's, do all the things, be a social butterfly (be calm my introverted soul!), do your chores w/o complaint, etc." So it has been quite the learning curve to take the affectionate jokes about my need for order (and genuine gratitude when I pull that years-old letter he needs *now!* from its labeled binder) from my husband. Instead of dread that I didn't do something well enough, it's still weird to feel that glow at his appreciation. People who understand, even when we have to help them do so, are the best!
This is fantastic! I appreciate friends who can intuit when I need this, but to have a partner who is willing to learn and follow through--wow!